Happy Mothers Day | Choosing to believe

What you are about to read has nothing to do with photography and everything to do with love. Which is the reason I photograph.

I hope this post will clue you in on a little more about me as I open up ALOT on this blog post about my life.

I love this picture of me and my mom. We were eating at Panera Bread over in Destin, FL last October. We had met up with most of our family to relax, and go to a yearly church conference. It was our last day of vacation, you know that bittersweet feeling of soak it all in before we get in the car and drive to the airport. This was especially true on this vacation because it was sunny and gorgeous [remember I live in WA, the sun is not out in October when we were there]. Little did I know what would take place in the next six months. We returned home from our vacation, and life went on. Thanksgiving came and went, New years came with a bang, and then passed as well. But then as February began life took an unusual turn. It started out normal. Yes I had just broken up with my long distance boyfriend, and was saddened by it life seemed to be ‘normal’ otherwise. Three days after the breakup I found myself standing in the kitchen with my parents as my mom told me that the sore spot on her foot had led her going to the doctor. I replied with a sarcastic comment. But then my mom replied completely serious that the spot on her foot that was giving her trouble had actually been identified as melanoma. Say what??? My mom, one of the healthiest people I know was being diagnosed with cancer?? No way. So I asked her, “you mean like cancer?” My dad was quick to say we are not speaking that, it is melanoma. And we are believing for God to heal her.

I knew at that moment I had a choice to make. I could believe or I could doubt. I chose not to ask God why are you doing this? I chose to ask God what is it you are wanting to show us in this situation.

And so began my journey with my family walking through what it means to have a parent have cancer. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 melanoma. Her doctor who diagnosed her specifically told her not to go online and read what the internet said about her type of ‘cancer’ because hers was so specific. [This was after the fact that I went online and googled exactly what stage 4 meant]. Within the week the weekly tests and doctors appointments began. It became a way of life, 1-3 doctor appointments a week. Finally the day came when they did the surgery on the ‘spot’ on her foot along with taking out some of her lymph nodes to see if it had traveled up at all into other parts of her body. Meanwhile I was at complete peace, peace to the point of people being completely thrown off that I wasn’t balling in tears, or a complete wreck. But why should I be? You see I serve the God of creation and I believe that He can heal. I believe God when He says though mourning may last for the night, joy comes in the morning. I believe, therefore I hope. But this isn’t about me, this is about my mom. So how was my mom? She was even more at peace than I was. Of course we shed tears, but they were joyful tears, they were tears shed for hope. They were not depressed tears. Our family choose to believe that God would heal  my mom. We choose to believe that we could place our trust in God. During this time I was reminded that Gods ways are not mans ways. If we had it up to us, I think overall we would chose an “easy life” would we not? But an easy life doesn’t require faith, hope, love, patience…

So when the news came that the lymph nodes the doctor removed were cancerous we found ourselves with yet another opportunity to press into God in prayer even more. It was not the outcome we were hoping for, but we still believed that God could and would heal my mom. I emailed and texted several friends and family members that I knew would pray for us. The doctors presented the options to my parents for treatment options. Before any treatment would be done though she had to go in for the PET scan. Again we prayed. God heal her. I remember my mom getting wheeled out in the wheelchair with a smile on her face, her eyes filled with joy and the technician wheeling her out joyful. My mom joyfully shared the news that the PET scan was clean. No sign of cancer. We celebrated. Her birthday was that week. When you are going through that kind of ordeal, that is the best present you could ask for. But simply because there is no more ‘cancer’ in her body does not mean that everything is back to normal. She still has weekly appointments. Physical therapy to begin to walk again. Her foot, well it will never again look the same. But what a beautiful reminder that as she walks/limps and feels the pain, as she feels the awkwardness of learning to walk again that she remembers that God is faithful to complete the good work He started in each and everyone of us. You see through this whole situation God taught each and everyone of us in our family alot about faith, about miracles, about hope, and about patience. Most of all God taught us about love. It has been a beautiful lesson of what it really means to love someone. It is never convenient. It is never easy. But it is always worth it. To give to another.

So this mothers day is a little different than most as you can see. For many of you, this may be the first time you have heard about my mom going through ‘cancer’. I told several people in my life when it came up, but I chose to keep it to myself for the most part. I wanted to wait to blog about her until the testimony came forth from the entire thing. And Mothers Day seemed like a good time to blog about it. Now I know not everyone has there mother with them, not everyone has the best relationship with there mothers. But I like to believe there is always a silver lining. I hope that by sharing my story that you are encouraged, and given hope to see the beautiful things in your life.

So mom, I know you are reading this [because I asked for your permission to write about this;] I want to say thank you. Thank you for being a living, breathing example of what it means to be a woman of God. Of clinging to your faith even when the doctors and those around you tell you to be fearful. You chose time and time again to cling to peace. Cancer or no cancer you are the strongest woman I know. You put up with me after all 😉 Thank you for all the times you put your needs and yourself last as you loved me and took care of me growing up. Thank you for choosing to love even when it was not convenient, thank you for choosing to have patience, thank you for standing up for what you know to be truth. Thank you Mom. Your joy shines as bright as the sun today. And that sun is shinning bright for you today !! Thank you for being you, even when it was hard.  I truly do not have the words to say thank you and I love you enough. They say actions speak louder than words, so I pray that today you would feel the love as we serve you, and remember to put you first.  

I love you mommy.

xoxo

Kymberly Janelle

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